Well, let me tell you, this thing they call “broadly vice horoscope,” it’s like them folks reading the stars and telling you how your life gonna go. Now, I don’t know much ’bout all them fancy words, but I can tell ya what it all means in plain speak, so anyone can understand it. See, them zodiac signs, like Aries, Leo, Scorpio, and Capricorn, they say them ones are real strong and mighty. They always wanna take charge, be the boss, and get things done. Some folks say that’s ’cause they ruled by them planets up in the sky, like Saturn and the Sun.
Now, you see, them zodiac signs is like a map to who you are, what kinda person you be, and even what kinda things you like or don’t like. They call it the “big three” in astrology — that’s your sun sign, your moon sign, and your rising sign. All them three together, they say, can tell ya a lot ’bout yourself. Ain’t that somethin’? They tell ya what your vibes are, if you’re a go-getter or if you like sittin’ back and lettin’ things come to you. And don’t even get me started on how them folks on the Broadly part of VICE talk ‘bout it. They sure got a lot to say, always breakin’ down the stars like they know the whole universe!
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